Lost in Translation

"The manager has personally passed all the water served here." - Sign in an Acapulco Hotel

"Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily." - Sign in an Athens Hotel

"Drop your trousers here for best results." - Sign in a Bangkok Dry Cleaner

"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty." - Sign in a Budapest Zoo

"Eat your fingers off". - Chinese Translation of KFC slogan, "Finger-Licking Good"

"We take your bags and send them in all directions." - Sign in a Copenhagen Airline Ticket Office

"To stop the drip, turn cock to right." - Sign on a Finnish Faucet

"It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose." - Sign in Germany's Black Forest

"Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life". - Sign on a Clock made in Hong Kong

"Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists". - Sign in a Hong Kong Dentist

"For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service". - Sign in a Hong Kong Supermarket

"Ladies may have a fit upstairs." - Sign in a Hong Kong Tailor Shop

"Please to evacuate in hall especially which is accompanied by rude noises." - Sign in an Istanbul Hotel

"Besmear a backing pan, previously buttered with a good tomato sauce, and, after, dispose the cannelloni, lightly distanced between them in a only couch." - Label on Italian Convenience Food

"Schweppes Toilet Water." - Italian Translation of "Schweppes Tonic Water"

"Too fast to live, too young to happy." - Slogan of a Japanese Cream Soda Company

"We are ecologically minded. This package will self-destruct in Mother Earth." - Label on a Japanese Eraser

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." - Sign in a Japanese Hotel

"Stop: Drive Sideways." - Road Sign in Japan

"ELEPHANT FAMILY ARE HAPPY WITH US. THEIR HUMMING MAKES US FEEL HAPPY." - Text on a Japanese Shopping Bag

"English well talking."
"Here speeching American."
- Signs in front of Majorcan shop

"Please leave your values at the front desk." - Sign in a Paris Hotel Elevator

"Tiny male genitals." - Portuguese Slang Translation of Pinto in Ford's Pinto

"Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation." - Sign in a Rhodes Taylor Shop

"Specialist in women and other diseases." - Sign in a Roman Doctor's Office

"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time." - Sign in a Roman Laundry

"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable." - Sign in a Romanian Hotel

"To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order." - Sign in a Serbian Hotel Elevator

"There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years." - Notice in Soviet Weekly

"It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant." - Slogan of a Spanish Ball-Point Pen

"It won't go." - Spanish Translation of Nova in GM's Chevy Nova

"Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin." - Sign in a Swedish Shop

"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for." - Promotion on a Swiss Menu

"Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." - Taiwan Translation of Pepsi slogan, "Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation"

"Would you like to ride on your own ass?" - Ad for Thailand Donkey Rides

"It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man." Sign in a Thailand Hotel

"Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice." - Sign in a Tokyo Hotel

"Please to bathe inside the tub." - Sign in a Tokyo Hotel

"When a passenger of the foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet at him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor." - Road Sign in Tokyo

"In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter." - Sign in a Vienna Hotel

"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway." - Sign in a Yugoslavian Hotel

"Guests should announce the abandonment of theirs rooms before 12 o'clock, emptying the room at the latest until 14 o'clock, for the use of the room before 5 at the arrival or after the 16 o'clock at the departure, will be billed as one night more." - Sign in a Yugoslavian Hotel