"Youth lacks, to some extent, experience." - Spiro Agnew

"We are America. Those other people are not." - Rich Bond

"Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much limited to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes." - Pat Buchanan

"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumph. Made some mistakes. We had some sex...uh...setbacks." - George Bush, Sr.

"My dog Millie knows more about foreign policy than those two bozos." - George Bush, Sr., on Bill Clinton and Al Gore

"It has been said by some cynic, maybe it was a former president, 'If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.' We took them literally - that advice - as you know. But I didn't need that, because I have Barbara Bush." - George Bush, Sr.

"If a frog had wings, he wouldn't hit his tail on the ground. Too hypothetical." - George Bush, Sr.

"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job." - George Bush, Sr.

"It's no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another." - George Bush, Sr.

"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know?...I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'" - George Bush, Sr.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them." - George Bush, Sr.

"We've never had a president named Bob, and I think it's time." - Bob Dole

"Life is very important to Americans." - Bob Dole

"The Internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole

"The world is more like it is now than it ever has before." - Dwight Eisenhower

"He is purple - the gay pride color; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle - the gay pride symbol." - Jerry Falwell, on Teletubbies character Tinky Winky

"Mr. Nixon was the thirty-seventh President of the United States. He had been preceded by thirty-six others." - Gerald Ford

"I strongly support the feeding of children." - Gerald Ford

"I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on radio." - Gerald Ford

"When a man is asked to make a speech, the first thing he has to decide is what to say." - Gerald Ford

"I was dramatically shaped by my grandmother and my aunts because they convinced me there was always a cookie available. Deep down inside me, I'm four years old, and I wake up and think out there, there's a cookie. Every morning I'm going, you know, either it can be baked or it's already been bought, but it's in a jar...somewhere...And so that means when you open up the cupboard and the cookie isn't there, I don't say, 'Gee, there's no cookie.' I say, 'I wonder where it is.'" - Newt Gingrich

"If you talk about being in combat, what does combat mean? If combat means being in a ditch, females have biological problems being in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections, and they don't have upper-body strength. I mean, some do, but they're relatively rare. On the other hand, men are basically little piglets. You drop them in the ditch, they roll around in it, doesn't matter, you know. These things are very real. On the other hand, if combat means being in an Aegis-class cruiser managing the computer controls for twelve ships and their rockets, a female again may be dramatically better than a male, who gets very, very frustrated sitting in a chair all the time because males are biologically driven to go out and hunt giraffes. - Newt Gingrich

"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep." - S.I. Hayakawa

"Your tax dollars are being used to pay for grade-school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior." - Jesse Helms

"Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans." - Alf Landon

"We've never said to the press that Clinton is a philandering, pot-smoking draft dodger." - Mary Matalin

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republicans for which it stands..." - Bob McEwen

"This is a great day for France!" - Richard Nixon, at French president Charles de Gaulle's funeral

"Mr. Haldeman has every right to be considered guilty until proven guilty." - Richard Nixon

"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue." - Richard Nixon

"What does an actor know about politics?" - Ronald Reagan

"I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." - Ronald Reagan

"A tree is a tree. How many more do you need to look at?" - Ronald Reagan

"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles." - Ronald Reagan

"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency - even if I'm in a Cabinet meeting." - Ronald Reagan

"Facts are stupid things." - Ronald Reagan

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe." - Frank Rizzo

"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25." - Mary Anne Tebedo

"We don't have to worry about endangered species. Why, we can't even get rid of the cockroach." - James Watt